All Posts (wooddash)


(1) 2 3 4 ... 95 »


 
Re: Lame Joke Thread...
Pitt Hater
Joined:
12/20/2007 10:40 am
From Rockville, MD
Posts: 2097
Just in case you needed a laugh: Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; that's reassurance to those of us who fly routinely.

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident....

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
*
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
*
P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit
*
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
*
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
*
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
*
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
*
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
*
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
*
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
*
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search
*
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
*
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
*
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
*
And the best one for last
*
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from the midget




Posted on: 6/19 12:15 pm
Transfer the post to other applications Transfer
 


 
Re: WVU sets cost-of-attendance figures for scholarship athletes
Pitt Hater
Joined:
12/20/2007 10:40 am
From Rockville, MD
Posts: 2097
I could have used some cash playing back in 75-79. Dad was out of work after freshman year. I was way lucky to get a scholarship and am thankful every day. Go Mountaineers!

Posted on: 6/8 8:07 pm
Transfer the post to other applications Transfer
 


 
Re: A sledgehammer masquerading as a defensive back
Pitt Hater
Joined:
12/20/2007 10:40 am
From Rockville, MD
Posts: 2097
#1

Posted on: 6/8 8:02 pm
Transfer the post to other applications Transfer
 


 
Re: KJ Dillion The Killa
Pitt Hater
Joined:
12/20/2007 10:40 am
From Rockville, MD
Posts: 2097
We are going to be awesome on defense this year. Go Mountaineers!

Posted on: 6/8 7:37 pm
Transfer the post to other applications Transfer
 


 
Re: Game times announced for 3 opponents
Pitt Hater
Joined:
12/20/2007 10:40 am
From Rockville, MD
Posts: 2097
Mon Labor Day 7:30 pm
9/14 Monday 3 pm?
10/29 Thurs

Great scheduling

Posted on: 6/2 9:42 pm
Transfer the post to other applications Transfer
 


 
Re: delete
Pitt Hater
Joined:
12/20/2007 10:40 am
From Rockville, MD
Posts: 2097
Like

Posted on: 5/21 9:48 pm
Transfer the post to other applications Transfer
 


 
Re: Lame Joke Thread...
Pitt Hater
Joined:
12/20/2007 10:40 am
From Rockville, MD
Posts: 2097
Programmer's joke on the programmer:

Wife: when you go to the store please pick up a loaf of bread and if they have eggs pick up a dozen.

Programmer (husband) comes home with a dozen loaves of bread.

Posted on: 4/28 10:39 pm
Transfer the post to other applications Transfer
 


 
Re: Push for Buctober
Pitt Hater
Joined:
12/20/2007 10:40 am
From Rockville, MD
Posts: 2097
Orioles Baseball!

Posted on: 4/20 9:59 pm
Transfer the post to other applications Transfer
 


 
Re: what are you drinking RIGHT NOW?
Pitt Hater
Joined:
12/20/2007 10:40 am
From Rockville, MD
Posts: 2097
I drink Budweiser. Sorry. My husband on the other hand drinks the best. Here is the front row of his fridge: heavy Seas Holy Sheet, Heritage Brewing Co Revolution, Sweetwater Double IPA, Hop Juice Double IPA, Flying Dog single hop Warrior, Deviant Dales IPA. He has 3 shelves of this. His favorite is Flying Dog. He's a server at many DC festivals that used to be October Fests that now occur regularly. This weekend he's serving at Cap City's Spring Fest. Enjoy, Gentlemen.

Posted on: 4/19 9:05 pm
Transfer the post to other applications Transfer
 


 
Re: Lame Joke Thread...
Pitt Hater
Joined:
12/20/2007 10:40 am
From Rockville, MD
Posts: 2097
A man who'd just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.

The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. The Mortician points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank cheque and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'

The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly...

She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied... You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful.. How much did you spend?'

To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank cheque. 'There's no charge,' she says.

'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite suit!' she say.

'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'

'So I just switched the heads.'

Posted on: 4/6 8:55 am
Transfer the post to other applications Transfer
 


 
Re: Georgia Florists Say They Won't Serve Gay Couples Even As State's Religious Freedom Act Stalls
Pitt Hater
Joined:
12/20/2007 10:40 am
From Rockville, MD
Posts: 2097
As a side conversation, Carly Fiorina, a potential GOP candidate said something to think about:"When Tim Cook (Apple CEO) is upset about all the places that he does business because of the way they treat gays and women, he needs to withdraw from 90% of the markets that he's in, including China and Saudi Arabia. But I don't hear him being upset about that."

Posted on: 4/5 12:44 pm
Transfer the post to other applications Transfer
 


 
Re: Girls game Wednesday?
Pitt Hater
Joined:
12/20/2007 10:40 am
From Rockville, MD
Posts: 2097
Quote:

RadioShark wrote:
Quote:

mntnir wrote:
My buddy who lives in St. Albans is going. Apparently, tickets are only $10. I hope we pack the place.


You feel anything walking out? It should be your fuckin change hitting you in the back.


I missed something here.

Posted on: 4/4 1:15 pm
Transfer the post to other applications Transfer
 


 
Re: Huggins receives national coach of the year honor
Pitt Hater
Joined:
12/20/2007 10:40 am
From Rockville, MD
Posts: 2097
Go Huggs. I'm glad you are our coach!

Posted on: 4/3 9:58 pm
Transfer the post to other applications Transfer
 


 
Re: Huggins receives national coach of the year honor
Pitt Hater
Joined:
12/20/2007 10:40 am
From Rockville, MD
Posts: 2097
NATIONAL!!!!!

Posted on: 4/3 9:57 pm
Transfer the post to other applications Transfer
 


 
Re: Funny pictures thread
Pitt Hater
Joined:
12/20/2007 10:40 am
From Rockville, MD
Posts: 2097
Lester, a friend was buried near a gravesite with the name Smeli Pissas

Posted on: 4/3 4:54 pm
Transfer the post to other applications Transfer
 


 
Re: Girls game Wednesday?
Pitt Hater
Joined:
12/20/2007 10:40 am
From Rockville, MD
Posts: 2097
In New Mexico and couldn't pick up a good feed so listened to it on the WVU game phone line 712-432-6998. Fail proof!

Posted on: 4/1 9:27 pm
Transfer the post to other applications Transfer
 


 
Re: Girls game Wednesday?
Pitt Hater
Joined:
12/20/2007 10:40 am
From Rockville, MD
Posts: 2097
Awesomeness! Congrats Mountaineers!

Posted on: 4/1 9:25 pm
Transfer the post to other applications Transfer
 


 
Re: Girls game Wednesday?
Pitt Hater
Joined:
12/20/2007 10:40 am
From Rockville, MD
Posts: 2097
Yep on the Carey call. Sportsmanship at its finest. I hope she got her incentive $!

Posted on: 4/1 8:45 pm
Transfer the post to other applications Transfer
 


 
Re: delete
Pitt Hater
Joined:
12/20/2007 10:40 am
From Rockville, MD
Posts: 2097
The Mountaineer Nation mourns the loss of one of the greatest basketball players Hot Rod Hundley. May you rest in eternal peace.

He was the #1 pick in the 1957 draft.

Thanks for being a great Mountaineer!

Posted on: 3/27 11:48 pm
Transfer the post to other applications Transfer
 


 
Re: The UK thread
Pitt Hater
Joined:
12/20/2007 10:40 am
From Rockville, MD
Posts: 2097
I had a MD fan thank me today for beating them. They didn't want to be humiliated by Kentucky.

Posted on: 3/27 6:37 pm
Transfer the post to other applications Transfer
 



 Top
(1) 2 3 4 ... 95 »




Login
Username:

Password:

remember me





Copyright © 2004-2011 wemustignitethiscouch.com All Rights Reserved