The Hubie Brown Drinking Game
As I sit on my couch waiting for Game 6 of the NBA Finals to start, I feel ashamed that I've never shared the Hubie Brown Drinking Game with you, the loyal readers of www.wemustignitethiscouch.com.
Ordinarily, I'm not that big of a fan of drinking games, as I'm the type of person that finds weakness in those that need an excuse to drink. I mean seriously, how can you take someone seriously when they say, "OOOOH YOU HAVE TO DRINK?"
"Really? I thought that's why I came to this lame ass party."
But while drinking a beer and watching the Finals a few years ago, I noticed the insane repetition of ABC basketball analyst Hubie Brown's favorite few phrases, and I created a drinking game based thereon. (I should take this opportunity to note that Hubie Brown is one of my favorite commentators in all of sports. He's the rare combination of the announcer that knows everything, and also makes it interesting to listen to. Like the best color commentators, he doesn't get caught up in what's already gone happened- he tells you what's ABOUT to happen. I love that.) It's not the most sophisticated game in the world, so hopefully you'll enjoy it for its simplicity.
Rules of the Hubie Brown Drinking Game
1) Take a drink/shot every time Hubie says the word "percent" or "percentage." Look for it in the following context:
"Both teams are shooting a very high percentage by taking high percentage shots."
2) Take a drink/shot every time Hubie Brown steps into the second person. Example:
"You're the Miami Heat. Your star player just scored 43 points, despite the fact that he only made 11 shots, none of them threes. You don't know how in God's name anyone goes to the free throw line that much in a playoff game while still being able to walk. You need several guys in striped shirts to help you win 2 of your 3 games at home. You should not be expecting to win anymore games on the road."
Hubie Brown Drinking Game Corollaries:
1) The John Madden Drinking Game (shots every time he starts a sentence with the phrase "Here's a guy...", makes a sound effect noise with his voice, praises Brett Favre, or goes apeshit on a receiver that runs a 7-yard route on 3rd and 9.)
2) The Paul McGuire Drinking Game- drink every time he says "WATCH THIS, WATCH THIS!!"
3) The Joe Buck Drinking Game- drink every time he says something annoying/whiny/bitchy/crotchity. Actually, take that back. No one could drink that much in a 3 hour period.
Enjoy the drinking game, and hopefully there will be enough Hubie Brown airtime left this year for you to try it out, folks.
PS- Steve Javie is reffing Game 6- if you think there's not going to be a Game 7, well, you don't watch very much about NBA basketball...
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Posted: 6/21/2006 12:45 am Updated: 6/21/2006 12:45 am
Here for the Beer
Suprisingly there will be no Game 7.
Posted: 6/21/2006 10:57 pm Updated: 6/21/2006 10:57 pm
From: Houston, TX
Last time I tried this was on a deployment while watching Scarface. You had to drink every time the word "fuck" was said.
Everyone was out cold within the first hour.