We Must Ignite This Couch Articles

WIRE- Summoning Jeremy Sheffey

By Jude
2008/09/12


**You have entered the Mountaineer Locker Room Chat**

stanchiggychek: OH MAN THAT WAS BRUTAL

O_no_U_dent: Fortunately the rest of the team played so terribly that no one is killing me for yet another botched snap.

O_no_U_dent: doh!

marino_isdaner: Come on, fellas. There's got to be something we can do. There's no earthly reason our offensive line should've been dominated by ECU.

figner_newton: loosing make me sad :(

dont_be_so_selvish: I think losing makes all of us sad, Jake.

dont_be_so_selvish: But we need to figure out why it happened and go from there.

stanchiggychek: WELL, I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T BE SAYING THIS

marino_isdaner: What? What do you know?

stanchiggychek: IF YOU WILL RECALL, I AM CAPABLE OF SUMMONING THE SPIRITS OF MOUNTAINEERS PAST

O_no_U_dent: Well, who would we bring in to help us with this particular situation?

stanchiggychek: I CAN THINK OF ONLY ONE

stanchiggychek: /casts spell


**kiss_the_sheffey has entered the chat**


kissthesheffey: WHAT IS WITH THIS GHOST CRAPPOLA

kissthesheffey: I WAS JUST CUT BY THE GREEN BAY BLIZZARD FOR GODS SAKES. I THINK I AM AVAILABLE TO BE HERE IN PERSON.

figner_newton: o no im skurred u guyz

dont_be_so_selvish: Who is the Green Bay Blizzard?

kissthesheffey: I DO NOT EVEN KNOW AND THEY ARE THE ONES THAT CUTTED ME

kissthesheffey: AFTER OUR GAME WITH TEH QUAD CITY STEAMWHEELERS

kissthesheffey: DAMN YOU STEAMWHEELERS!!! DAMN YOU TO HELL!!

stanchiggychek: OH MIGHTY SPIRIT, WE SEEK YOUR GUIDANCE ON HOW NOT TO GET DESTROYED BY THE LIKES OF ECU'S DEFENSIVE LINE

kissthesheffey: WAIT. WHAT IN THE NAME OF JUDY GARLAND ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

kissthesheffey: YOU FAIRYBOATS LOST TO ECU?

figner_newton: um kinda

marino_isdaner: We really didn't do anything well. We need all the help we can get.

dont_be_so_selvish: Do you have any pointers, oh wise spirit?

kissthesheffey: I AM NOT EVEN SURE THAT THE ALMIGHTY SPIRIT OF KISS_THE_SHEFFEY CAN SOLVE THIS DILEMN...

kissthesheffey: DILEMM..

kissthesheffey: THIS PROBLEM

O_no_U_dent: Come on, you've got to do something!

figner_newton: hep us sheffy wan, ur our only hope

kissthesheffey: WELL, WHAT IS YOUR PREGAME MEAL

marino_isdaner: Well, it varies. Usually the team has a nice setup before the game with some proteins and carbohydrates and a few...

kissthesheffey: HAHAHAHAH THATS NO PREGAME MEAL YOU CHUMPAWUMPAS

stanchiggychek: WHAT DO YOU MEAN

dont_be_so_selvish: Yeah, what did you eat?

kissthesheffey: IT WOULD NOT BE OUT OF THE ORDINARY FOR THE SHEFFMEISTER'S PREGAME MEAL TO BE THE ENTRAILS OF A BLUE WHALE WRAPPED IN TANK TREAD AND WASHED DOWN WITH A COOL BUDWEISER

figner_newton: hahaha WASSaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

figner_newton: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

figner_newton: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap i love those commershalls

marino_isdaner: Damn, where did you even get all that stuff, Sheff?

kissthesheffey: OWEN SCHMITT WAS QUITE THE RESOURCEFUL MAN

kissthesheffey: I BELIEVE HE PROCURED IT BY INTIMIDATING THE CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE AGENCY INTO SUBMISSION

dont_be_so_selvish: So that's all we have to do? Just get hardcore stuff to eat for our pregame meals and we're set?

kissthesheffey: WELL, THAT AND YOU ALSO MUST WORK OUT A LOT AND NOT SUCK

O_no_U_dent: well damn brutha i'm just gonna get me some of that crazy food then

marino_isdaner: yeah, that seems to be the best plan

figner_newton: BUD

dont_be_so_selvish: Jeez, not this again.

figner_newton: BUD

dont_be_so_selvish: Come on, man. Lay off.

figner_newton: BUD

dont_be_so_selvish: Fine. WEI

figner_newton: SER

figner_newton: haha that ****s awesome



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Poster Thread
BeastoftheEast
Posted: 9/12/2008 3:22 pm  Updated: 9/12/2008 3:23 pm
WMITC
Joined: 7/21/2006
From: Boone County, WV
Posts: 12932
 Re: Summoning Jeremy Sheffey
I was wondering when the Sheff Meister was going to make an appearance this season.

Quote:
kissthesheffey: I WAS JUST CUT BY THE GREEN BAY BLIZZARD FOR GODS SAKES. I THINK I AM AVAILABLE TO BE HERE IN PERSON.


This is hilarious.
wooddash
Posted: 9/12/2008 3:23 pm  Updated: 9/12/2008 3:23 pm
Pitt Hater
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: Rockville, MD
Posts: 1969
 Re: Summoning Jeremy Sheffey
That's exactly what I use too.
Epixeer
Posted: 9/12/2008 7:08 pm  Updated: 9/12/2008 7:08 pm
Suspected Punter
Joined: 6/1/2008
From: Wheeling
Posts: 167
 Re: Summoning Jeremy Sheffey
Jude, thats good stuff!!!
wvpiratecaptain
Posted: 9/12/2008 11:44 pm  Updated: 9/12/2008 11:44 pm
Pitt Hater
Joined: 8/11/2006
From: North Carolina
Posts: 1846
 Re: Summoning Jeremy Sheffey
Finally! something to take away the pain!!!!

funny $#!7 dude!
msaul37
Posted: 9/13/2008 4:40 am  Updated: 9/13/2008 4:40 am
Joined: 7/27/2006
From: Alkol, Lincoln County
Posts: 21471
 Re: Summoning Jeremy Sheffey
man, the fun you coulda had with stephen maw's screen name
LiteTheCouch
Posted: 9/13/2008 1:40 pm  Updated: 9/13/2008 1:40 pm
Pitt Hater
Joined: 11/24/2007
From:
Posts: 1509
 Re: Summoning Jeremy Sheffey
dont_be_so_selvish: So that's all we have to do? Just get hardcore stuff to eat for our pregame meals and we're set?

kissthesheffey: WELL, THAT AND YOU ALSO MUST WORK OUT A LOT AND NOT SUCK


lmao... also...


kissthesheffey: I DO NOT EVEN KNOW AND THEY ARE THE ONES THAT CUTTED ME

kissthesheffey: AFTER OUR GAME WITH TEH QUAD CITY STEAMWHEELERS

kissthesheffey: DAMN YOU STEAMWHEELERS!!! DAMN YOU TO HELL!!

BeastoftheEast
Posted: 9/13/2008 3:19 pm  Updated: 9/13/2008 3:19 pm
WMITC
Joined: 7/21/2006
From: Boone County, WV
Posts: 12932
 Re: Summoning Jeremy Sheffey
Sheffy is full of great quotes..look at this wisdom from Sheffmeister:

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xmedic80
Posted: 9/15/2008 12:00 am  Updated: 9/15/2008 12:00 am
Suspected Punter
Joined: 7/6/2008
From: Whitesville, WV
Posts: 236
 Re: Summoning Jeremy Sheffey
kissthesheffey: OWEN SCHMITT WAS QUITE THE RESOURCEFUL MAN

kissthesheffey: I BELIEVE HE PROCURED IT BY INTIMIDATING THE CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE AGENCY INTO SUBMISSION



That's priceless.
glibglub
Posted: 9/15/2008 5:52 pm  Updated: 9/15/2008 5:52 pm
Makin' it Rain
Joined: 1/6/2008
From:
Posts: 3736
 Re: Summoning Jeremy Sheffey
Mmmm, blue whale entrails. . . .

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