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Owen Schmitt is so strong...
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- Owen Schmitt is so strong, the tsunami experienced in Southeast Asia 2 years ago was the result of his ill-fated attempt to take a dump in the Pacific Ocean. - Owen Schmitt is so strong, the pads he wears are intended to protect OTHER players. - Owen Schmitt is so strong, his mother was awarded the Purple Heart after his birth. - Owen Schmitt is so strong, the United States went to war with Iraq because it had evidence that Saddam was seeking massive quantities of Owen Schmitt's clipped toenails in Africa. - Owen Schmitt is so strong, he once entered a competitive eating contest... there were no survivors. - Owen Schmitt is so strong, his toilet paper is sheet metal. - Owen Schmitt is so strong, he only allows himself to be tackled so that his teammates can be involved in the game. - Owen Schmitt is so strong, his athletic endorsement sponsorship is with Lockheed Martin. - Owen Schmitt is so strong, his offseason workout regimen includes blue whales, the Grand Canyon, and lightning. - Owen Schmitt is so strong, the "World's Strongest Man" competition has been re-named "The World's Strongest Man Not Named Owen Schmitt." - Owen Schmitt is so strong, his shadow has been offered a scholarship to Syracuse. - Owen Schmitt is so strong, these are his shoes: - Owen Schmitt is so strong, there are now six permanent members of the U.N. Security Council- China, France, Russian Federation, the United Kingdom, the United States, and Owen Schmitt. - Owen Schmitt is so strong, all his friends became millionaire diamond salesmen after he hugged a West Virginia mountain. -Owen Schmitt is so strong, he uses the goalposts at Mountaineer Field as his personal Bow-Flex system. - Owen Schmitt is so strong, the United States Military added a DEFCON 9- OWEN SCHMITT CAN'T FIND HIS KEYS. and finally... - Owen Schmitt is so strong, the North Atlantic Jet Stream consists of a fart he cut after a meal at Los Mariachis 8 years ago. |
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| Poster | Thread |
|---|---|
| townyjoe | Posted: 7/25/2006 12:24 am Updated: 7/25/2006 12:24 am |
Noob   Joined: 1/24/2006 From: Morgantown, WV Posts: 19 |
 Owen..- Owen Schmitt named the band Sha Na Na. They did not want to be named that.
- Owen Schmitt is the only known survivor of a Chuck Norris roundhouse. |
| MichaelJLucasWV | Posted: 2/17/2008 8:57 pm Updated: 2/17/2008 8:57 pm |
Grant Ave. Warrior   Joined: 8/22/2006 From: Spartanburg, SC via Boone County WV Posts: 890 |
Re: Owen Schmitt is so strong... Owen Schmitt invented all the colors of the rainbow... EXCEPT pink, Tom Cruise invented pink.
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| jeffreyhunt | Posted: 2/18/2008 7:31 am Updated: 2/18/2008 7:31 am |
Pitt Hater   Joined: 2/10/2007 From: Raleigh Co. Posts: 2691 |
Re: Owen Schmitt is so strong... -He's on Superman's #1 speed dial.
-that new turf had to be installed at Mountaineer field to cover the pot holes he was leaving. -seat belts should be worn while witnessing a Owen block.(maybe even a HANS device) -research has begun on titanium fasemasks. |
| jeffreyhunt | Posted: 2/18/2008 9:12 pm Updated: 2/18/2008 9:13 pm |
Pitt Hater Joined: 2/10/2007 From: Raleigh Co. Posts: 2691 |
Re: Owen Schmitt is so strong... -his skin is made of lycria and teflon to prevent a full body henrnia.
-he can carry the weight of WV on his back for 57 yards. |
